Monday, June 16, 2008

When your kids are smarter than you

Reading a post here, got me thinking about how often lately I have stopped to ask myself, "Who is the adult here?" And heard the answer back, "Not you."

Here's one recent example: As Mose and I walked to the car after a trip to the grocery store a couple weeks ago, I let drop some snotty, thoughtless remark about the young man who had rang up our purchases. He had done nothing wrong, I simply didn't like "the way he spoke to me" or "his tone of voice" or some equally uptight nonsense. Mose quickly spoke in the cashier's defense, not putting me down, but explaining how he (Mose) interpreted the interaction. He spoke gently and reasonably and I was silenced by the fairness of what he said and my own smallness.

And another: Abe often asks me to watch or listen to something he finds on the web - either a song he likes or a video clip or picture that makes him laugh. Sometimes, the timing is good for me but more often it's not or I think it's not. On Saturday, he said he had something he wanted me to see at a moment I felt very stressed out. But instead of graciously declining and thanking him for wanting me to share his enjoyment with him, I launched into full blown pity party the theme of which was I wish I had time to sit around all day and surf. He didn't get caught up in my stress but he didn't let me off the hook either. He patiently explained that he knew that I had a lot more responsibility than him, but all I needed to tell him at a time like that was 'No'.

This had never occurred to me before. You mean, I can just say, 'No'? Just give a simple response, rather than one laden with enough emotional baggage to sink a whole afternoon?

It's times like these that I admire my boys most and am awed by God's grace in shaping them into people who are often kinder, often wiser and always less complicated than I am.

1 comment:

Sola Gratia said...

Well, Mom, I love this heartfelt post. Do you know I feel the same way? I thank God that He gave me such a wonderful, intelligent, loving mother :)